Trying to Find Chinatown: The Selected Plays of David Henry Hwang Read online

JENNY: Sorry, Ama. Busy.

  JOANNE (Allowing Jenny to leave): All right.

  DI-GOU (To Jenny): What are you doing?

  JENNY: Huh? Reading.

  DI-GOU: Oh. Schoolwork.

  JENNY: Nah. Vogue. (Exits)

  JOANNE: I’ve got to see about dinner. (To Hannah) Can you give me a hand? I want to use my new Cuisinart.

  HANNAH: All right. What do you want to make?

  JOANNE: I don’t know. What does a Cuisinart do?

  (Hannah and Joanne exit; Di-gou, Ama, Popo and Chester are left in the sunroom.)

  AMA: Di-gou, thirty year have pass. Do you still love God?

  DI-GOU: Thirty-three.

  AMA: Ah?

  POPO: 1949 to 1982. Thirty-three. He is correct.

  AMA: Oh. But you do still love God? Like before?

  DI-GOU: You know, sisters, after you left China, I learned that I never did believe in God.

  (Pause.)

  AMA: What!

  POPO: How can you say this?

  CHESTER: Ama, Popo, don’t start in on that—he just got here.

  POPO: You defend him?

  AMA (To Chester and Di-gou while chasing Chester out to tennis court): You both are influence by bad people.

  POPO: Spend time with bums! Communist bum, musician bum, both same.

  DI-GOU: Just to hear my sisters after all these years—you may speak whatever you like.

  AMA: Do you still love God?

  DI-GOU: I have much love.

  AMA: For God?

  DI-GOU: For my sisters.

  (Pause.)

  POPO: You are being very difficult.

  AMA: You remember when you first become Christian?

  POPO: You travel with See-goh-poh on her first evangelism tour? Before we move to Philipines and you stay in China? Remember? You speak tongues of fire.

  DI-GOU: I was only eight years old. That evening is a blur to me.

  AMA: Tonight—we have family devotions. You can speak again. Miracles. You still believe in miracles?

  DI-GOU: It is a miracle that I am here again with you!

  POPO: Why you always change subject? You remember Ah Hong? Your servant? How See-goh-poh cast out his opium demon?

  DI-GOU: I don’t think that happened.

  AMA: Yes! Remember? After evangelism tour—she cast out his demon.

  POPO: Ah Hong tell stories how he eats opium, then he can see everything so clear, like—uh—glass. He can see even through wall, he say, and can see—ah—all the way through floor. Yes! He say he can see through ground, all the way to hell. And he talk with Satan and demon who pretend to be Ah Hong’s dead uncles. You should remember.

  DI-GOU: I vaguely recall some such stories.

  (Di-gou opens up his suitcase during Popo’s following speech and takes out two small Chinese toys and a small Chinese flag. He shows them to Popo, but she tries to ignore them.)

  POPO: Demon pretend to be ghost, then show himself everyplace to Ah Hong—in kitchen, in well, in barn, in street of village. Always just sit there, never talk, never move, just sit. So See-goh-poh come, call on God, say only, “Demon begone.”

  AMA: And from then on, no more ghost, no more opium.

  POPO: You—you so happy, then. You say, you will also cast out the demon.

  DI-GOU: We were all just children. (He lines the toys up on the floor)

  AMA: But you have faith of a child.

  DI-GOU: Ah Hong didn’t stop eating opium, though. He just needed money. That’s why two years later, he was fired.

  AMA: Ah Hong never fired!

  POPO: I do not think so.

  DI-GOU: Yes, my tenth, eleventh birthday, he was fired.

  AMA: No—remember? Ah Hong die many year later—just before you come to America for college.

  DI-GOU: No, he was fired before then.

  POPO: No. Before you leave, go to college, you must prepare your own suitcase. (To Ama) Bad memory.

  AMA: Brainwash.

  (Robert and Wilbur enter; Chester exits off the tennis court. Robert and Wilbur surround Di-gou.)

  ROBERT AND WILBUR: Welcome!

  WILBUR: How you doing, Di-gow?

  ROBERT (Correcting Wilbur): Di-gou!

  WILBUR: Oh, right. “Di-gou.”

  ROBERT (To Di-gou): We tried to find you at the airport.

  WILBUR (To Di-gou): That means “second brother.”

  ROBERT: So, you escaped the Communists, huh?

  WILBUR: Robert and I were just—

  ROBERT: Little joke, there.

  WILBUR:—looking at my collection of tax shelters.

  ROBERT: China’s pretty different now, huh?

  WILBUR: You care to take a look?

  ROBERT: I guess there’s never a dull moment—

  WILBUR: Probably no tax shelters, either.

  ROBERT:—waiting for the next cultural revolution.

  WILBUR: Oh, Robert!

  ROBERT: Little joke, there.

  WILBUR (To Di-gou, referring to Robert): That’s how he does business.

  ROBERT: Of course, I respect China.

  WILBUR: He says these totally outrageous things.

  ROBERT: But your airlines—so inefficient.

  WILBUR: And people remember him.

  ROBERT: How long were you in Guam?

  WILBUR (To Robert): He wasn’t in Guam!

  ROBERT: No?

  WILBUR (To Di-gou): Well, we’re going to finish up the tour.

  ROBERT: My shelters are all at my house.

  WILBUR: Feel free to come along.

  ROBERT (Referring to Wilbur): His are kid stuff. Who wants land in Montana?

  WILBUR (To Robert): Hey—I told you. I need the loss.

  (Wilbur and Robert exit, leaving Di-gou with Ama and Popo. There is a long silence.)

  DI-GOU: Who are they?

  POPO: Servants.

  AMA: Don’t worry. They will eat outside. In America, servants do not take over their masters’ house.

  DI-GOU: What are you talking about?

  AMA: We know. In China now, servants beat their masters.

  DI-GOU: Don’t be ridiculous. I have a servant. A chauffeur.

  (Robert reenters.)

  ROBERT: Hey, Di-gou—we didn’t even introduce ourselves.

  DI-GOU: Oh, my sisters explained it to me.

  ROBERT: I’m Robert. Hannah’s my wife. (He puts his arm around Di-gou) When we married, I had nothing. I was working in grocery stores, fired from one job after another. But she could tell—I had a good heart.

  DI-GOU: It is good to see servants marrying into the moneyed ranks. We are not aware of such progress by even the lowest classes.

  (Pause.)

  ROBERT: Huh?

  DI-GOU: To come to this—from the absolute bottom of society. R

  OBERT: Wait, wait. I mean, sure, I made progress, but “the bottom of society”? That’s stretching it some, wouldn’t you say?

  DI-GOU: Did you meet Hannah while preparing her food?

  ROBERT: Huh? No, we met at a foreign students’ dance at UCLA.

  DI-GOU: Oh. You attended university?

  ROBERT: Look, I’m not a country kid. It’s not like I was that poor. I’m from Shanghai, you know.

  POPO (To Robert): Ssssh! Neighbors will hear!

  ROBERT: I’m cosmopolitan. So when I went to college, I just played around at first. That’s the beauty of the free enterprise system, Di-gou. If you wanna be a bum, it lets you be a bum. I wasted my time, went out with all these American girls.

  POPO: One girl.

  ROBERT: Well, one was more serious, a longer commitment...

  POPO: Minor.

  DI-GOU: What?

  POPO: He go out with one girl—only fifteen year old.

  ROBERT: I didn’t know!

  POPO (To Robert): How come you cannot ask?

  ROBERT: I was just an FOB. This American girl—she talked to me—asked me out—kissed me on first date—and I thought, “Land of Opportunity!” Anyway, I decided to turn my
back on China.

  POPO (To Di-gou): He cannot even ask girl how old.

  ROBERT: This is my home. When I wanted to stop being a bum, make money, it let me. That’s America!

  DI-GOU: I also attended American university. Columbia Medical School.

  ROBERT: Right. My wife told me.

  POPO (To Robert): But he does not date the minor!

  ROBERT (To Popo): How was I supposed to know? She looked fully developed!

  (Ama and Popo exit in disgust, leaving Robert alone with Di-gou.)

  (To Di-gou) Well, then, you must understand American ways.

  DI-GOU: It has been some time since I was in America.

  ROBERT: Well, it’s improved a lot, lemme tell you. Look, I have a friend who’s an immigration lawyer. If you want to stay here, he can arrange it.

  DI-GOU: Oh, no. The thought never even—

  ROBERT: I know, but listen. I did it. Never had any regrets. We might be able to get your family over, too.

  DI-GOU: Robert, I cannot leave China.

  ROBERT: Huh? Look, Di-gou, people risk their lives to come to America. If only you could talk to—to the boat people.

  DI-GOU: Uh—the food here looks very nice.

  ROBERT: Huh? Oh, help yourself. Go ahead.

  DI-GOU: Thank you. I will wait.

  ROBERT: No, go on!

  DI-GOU: Thank you, but—

  ROBERT: Look, in America, there’s so much, we don’t have to be polite at all!

  DI-GOU: Please—I’m not yet hungry.

  ROBERT: Us Chinese, we love to eat, right? Well, here in America, we can be pigs!

  DI-GOU: I’m not hungry.

  ROBERT: I don’t see why you can’t—? Look. (He picks up a bao) See? (He stuffs the whole thing into his mouth) Pigs!

  DI-GOU: Do you mind? I told you, I’m not—

  ROBERT: I know. You’re not hungry. Think I’m hungry? No, sir! What do I have to do to convince you? Here. (He drops a tray of guo-tieh on the ground, begins stomping them) This is the land of plenty!

  DI-GOU: Ai! Robert!

  (Robert continues stomping the guo-tieh like roaches.)

  ROBERT: There’s one next to your foot! (He stomps it) Gotcha!

  DI-GOU: Please! It is not right to step on food!

  ROBERT: “Right”? Now, see, that’s your problem in the P.R.C.—lots of justice, but you don’t produce.

  (Wilbur enters, catching Robert in the act.)

  WILBUR: Robert? What are you—? What’s all this?

  ROBERT (Stops stomping): What’s the big deal? You got a cleaning woman, don’t you?

  (Jenny enters.)

  JENNY: Time to eat yet? (She sees the mess) Blaagh.

  (Hannah enters.)

  HANNAH: What’s all this?

  JENNY: Never mind.

  (Jenny exits; Wilbur points to Robert, indicating to Hannah that Robert is responsible for the mess. Ama and Popo also enter at this moment and see Wilbur’s indication.)

  DI-GOU: In China, the psychological problems of wealth are a great concern.

  POPO: Ai! Who can clean up after man like this!

  WILBUR: Robert, I just don’t think this is proper.

  AMA: Wilbur—not clean himself.

  ROBERT: Quiet! You all make a big deal out of nothing!

  DI-GOU: I am a doctor. I understand.

  POPO: But Robert—he also has the fungus feet.

  ROBERT: Shut up, everybody! Will you all just shut up? I was showing Di-gou American ways!

  (Wilbur takes Di-gou’s arm.)

  WILBUR (To Di-gou): Uh—come out here. I’ll show you some American ways.

  (Wilbur and Di-gou go out to the tennis court.)

  ROBERT (To Wilbur): What do you know about American ways? You were born here!

  POPO (To Ama): Exercise—good for him.

  ROBERT: Only us immigrants really know American ways!

  POPO (To Ama, pinching her belly): Good for here.

  HANNAH (To Robert): Shut up, dear. You’ve done enough damage today.

  (Wilbur gets Di-gou a tennis racket.)

  AMA (To Popo, referring to Di-gou): In China, he receives plenty exercise. Whenever Communists, they come torture him.

  WILBUR (On tennis court, to Di-gou): I’ll set up the machine. (He goes off)

  ROBERT (Looking through the glass walls at the tennis court): What’s so American about tennis?

  HANNAH (To Robert): Yes, dear.

  ROBERT: You all ruined it!

  HANNAH: You ruined the guo-tieh, dear.

  ROBERT: What’s a few guo-tieh in defense of America?

  DI-GOU (To Wilbur): I have not played tennis since my college days at Columbia.

  ROBERT (To Hannah, referring to Di-gou): He was being so cheap! Like this was a poor country!

  HANNAH: He’s lived in America before, dear.

  ROBERT: That was years ago. When we couldn’t even buy a house in a place like this.

  HANNAH: We still can’t.

  ROBERT: What?

  HANNAH: Let’s face it. We still can’t afford—

  ROBERT: That’s not what I mean, stupid! I mean, when we wouldn’t be able to because we’re Chinese! He doesn’t know the new America. I was making a point and you all ruined it!

  HANNAH: Yes, dear. Now let’s go in and watch the Betamax.

  ROBERT: No!

  HANNAH: C’mon!

  (Robert and Hannah exit.

  On the tennis court, Di-gou and Wilbur stand next to each other, facing offstage. A machine offstage begins to shoot tennis balls at them, each ball accompanied by a small explosive sound. A ball goes by; Di-gou tries to hit it, but it is too high for him. Two more balls go by, but they are also out of Di-gou’s reach. A fourth ball is shot out; it hits Wilbur.)

  WILBUR: Aaaah!

  (Balls are being shot out much faster now, pummeling Wilbur and Di-gou. Ama and Popo continue to sit in the sunroom, staring away from the tennis court, peaceful and oblivious.)

  DI-GOU: Aaah!

  WILBUR: I don’t—! This never happened—!

  DI-GOU: Watch out!

  WILBUR: I’ll turn off the machine.

  DI-GOU: Good luck! Persevere! Overcome! Oh! Watch—!

  (A volley of balls drives Wilbur back. Ama and Popo hear the commotion, look over to the tennis court. The balls stop shooting out.)

  POPO: Tennis.

  AMA: A fancy machine.

  (Ama and Popo return to looking downstage. The balls begin again.)

  WILBUR: Oh, no!

  AMA: Wilbur—he is such a bad loser.

  POPO: Good exercise, huh? His age—good for here. (She pinches her belly)

  DI-GOU: I will persevere! (He tries to get to the machine, is driven back)

  WILBUR: No! Di-gow!

  DI-GOU: I am overcome!

  WILBUR: Joanne!

  (He begins walking like a guerrilla toward the machine and finally makes it offstage. The balls stop, presumably because Wilbur reached the machine. Di-gou runs off the court.)

  DI-GOU (Breathless): Is it time yet . . . that we may cease to have... such enjoyment?

  (Wilbur crosses back onto the tennis court and into the lanai.)

  WILBUR (To offstage): Joanne! This machine’s too fast. I don’t pay good money to be attacked by my possessions! (Exits)

  (Ama and Popo get up, exit into the house, applauding Di-gou as they go, for his exercise.)

  AMA AND POPO (Clapping): Good, good, very good!

  (Di-gou is left alone on the tennis court. He is hit by a lone tennis ball. Then Chester enters, carrying a violin case. He has thrown that last ball.)

  CHESTER: Quite a workout, there.

  DI-GOU: America is full of surprises—why do all these products function so poorly?

  CHESTER: Looks like “Made in the U.S.” is gonna become synonymous with defective workmanship. (Pause) You wanna see my violin?

  DI-GOU: I would love to.

  CHESTER: I thought you might. Here. (He removes the violin from its case
) See? No “Made in U.S.” label.

  DI-GOU: It is beautiful.

  CHESTER: Careful! The back has a lacquer which never dries—so don’t touch it, or you’ll leave your fingerprints in it forever.

  DI-GOU: Imagine that. After I die, someone could be playing a violin with my fingerprint.

  CHESTER: Funny, isn’t it?

  DI-GOU: You know, I used to play violin.

  CHESTER: Really?

  DI-GOU: Though I never had as fine an instrument as this.

  CHESTER: Try it. Go ahead.

  DI-GOU: No. Please. I get more pleasure looking at it than I would playing it. But I would get the most pleasure hearing you play.

  CHESTER: No.

  DI-GOU: Please?

  CHESTER: All right. Later. How long did you play?

  DI-GOU: Some years. During the Cultural Revolution, I put it down.

  CHESTER: Must’ve been tough, huh? (He directs Di-gou’s attention to the back of his violin) Look—the back’s my favorite part.

  DI-GOU: China is my home, my work. I had to stay there. (He looks at the back of the violin) Oh—the way the light reflects—look. And I can see myself in it.

  CHESTER: Yeah. Nice, huh?

  DI-GOU: So you will take this violin and make music around the world.

  CHESTER: Around the world? Oh, you probably got a misleading press clipping. See, my dad . . .

  DI-GOU: Very funny.

  CHESTER (Smiling): Yeah. See, I’m just playing in the Boston Symphony. I’m leaving tomorrow.

  DI-GOU: I am fortunate, then, to come today, or perhaps I would never meet you.

  CHESTER: You know, I wasn’t even planning to come here.

  DI-GOU: That would be terrible. You know, in China, my wife and I had no children—for the good of the state. (He moves to where he left the Chinese toys earlier in the act. He picks them up and studies them) All these years, I try to imagine—what does Hannah look like? What does her baby look like? Now, I finally visit and what do I find? A young man. A violinist. The baby has long since disappeared. And I learn I’ll never know the answer to my question.